Self SABOTAGE and ways to avoid it
So many people I talk to or coach are repeatedly saying, “I sabotaged myself” or “my boyfriend [insert person] sabotaged my diet.”
Sabotage happens for a myriad of reasons and it’s important to protect yourself from the saboteurs in your life.
Maybe you don’t feel worthy, or you keep programming your mind with the notion that you don’t have willpower (which is a lie, by the way), or you haven’t dug deep enough to discover your true why.
Firstly I’d like to focus on the people around you rather than self-sabotage. I want to help you to identify the people in your life that continue to sabotage your healthy living goals, desires and dreams. Here’s the thing…Not all sabotage efforts come from a bad place.
Perhaps the person (think of a nice grandmother) knows you love her cookies and wants you to enjoy one that she baked for you. Or maybe your best friend is upset that she lost her drinking buddy and wants you to come out and play.
Alternatively, the sabotage can from from jealousy or other negative emotions.
But here’s the important thing ... IT DOESN’T MATTER why the person is sabotaging you, it needs to stop and it needs to stop N-O-W!
Here are a few questions to ask yourself when trying to identify Who, Why and What you can do about it…
Take the time to identify the following things:
the name of the saboteur - you may need multiple pages
why you believe they are sabotaging you - this is important so you know how to approach them
what you can say to them to make it stop - and don’t say “I don’t know.” Flip roles and think about how you would like to be approached if you were the one doing the sabotaging. You don’t have to be mean or harsh. There a a million ways to set boundaries and be kind at the same time.
There are also many reasons why we self-sabotage our weight loss goals. (and many other things that could be good for us!) Here are some common reasons:
You’re human. Profound, huh? But here’s the thing, you’re human and it’s easier to fall back on our default behaviors which may be unhealthy eating and couch surfing. Developing healthy habits is a like building a muscle. The more you do, the stronger you will become.
You want to be in the driver’s seat. As humans (and I know you are one), we like being in control. So if you believe you’re going to fail anyway, you decide to drive the car into the ditch and get it over with. (this is where doing “the next right thing” comes in!)
You’re tired. You may be suffering from diet fatigue if you have been at this for awhile. In this case, I suggest taking a week or two and simply concentrating on maintenance (ie eating the amount of calories that allow you to simply maintain your weight) Getting out of weight loss mode will do your body good and often helps your body lose weight more effectively when you return to a calorie deficit.
Do any of those sound like you? What other reasons can you identify?
Bottom line…we’ve all done it, and we’ll probably do it again in the future. Winning is all about the little victories and learning from the stumbles. Here are some ways you can minimize losing to your saboteur.
Observe. What’s going on when you sabotage? What are the circumstances?
Visualize. Continue to visualize yourself healthier and at your goal weight. What does it look like, feel like, smell like and taste like? What behaviors does that person need to have to accomplish that goal?
Affirm Yourself. Keep practicing those daily affirmations. You are doing them, right?
Focus on the Wins. Success is the culmination of all the 1% wins you gather along the way. Be sure to celebrate all the little wins rather than focusing on your stumbles. If you look for the good every day, you are much more likely to find it way more often.